Back to the TV show I love to hate… Sky’s ’24’. This programme is stupid, unfeasible, unbelievable and totally unmissable! I love to watch it and see how many faults I can pick with it. It keeps me going all week. One of the bits I picked up on in this week’s episode, and I’m sure it’s not just confined …
“Ooooo, did you watch the snooker final?” everyone’s asking me. No, I fucking didn’t! And shall I tell you why? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. It’s because all the players feel the need to to wiggle their middle finger whilst cueing up a shot. What the fuck’s all that about? They never used to do it years ago. Now they …
I smugly watched all my neighbours this morning scraping ice from the windows of their cars. They all had their motors running, exhaust polluting the atmosphere, while they scraped. And scraped. And scraped. All of them, to a person, have a garage. And where do they park? On the fucking road, two wheels on the pavement as is standard nowadays, …
Have you noticed the really annoying trend that seems to be the growing tendency amongst TV announcers to t-a-l-k r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-o-o-o-w-l-y when introducing programmes? “Commming uup onn- Iiiiiiii-Teeeeee-Veeeeee-Twoooo, the stoooory ooof a mootherrr annnd”….. FUCK OFF!!!! Is this so thickies can keep up, or is it just the patronizing manner of the announcers? Either way, it’s bloody annoying. And while …
…trick or treat that is. Can someone tell what’s in it for me? Kids come round knocking on the door and announce ‘trick or treat’. If I say ‘treat’, I have to give them something – I lose. If I say ‘trick’, they play a prank on me – I lose. How fucking fair is that? Can someone explain the …
Today was bin day. I remember once upon a time when we had proper bins. Corrugated metal ones with a lid and two handles. We used to keep them down the back yard, out of the way. Every week on bin day the dustman would come, lift the bin deftly over his shoulder, walk the bin to the dustcart and …
It was my car’s 100,000th birthday today. Yes, one hundred thousand. Well, I’ve moaned about her in the past, but she keeps going, more or less, so thanks to the old gal. Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Pee Six-Oh-Nine Jay-Kay-Why-iiiii, Happy birthday to you.
Go shopping anywhere in the UK and almost everything is priced £XX.99 – what the hell is all that about? It sounds less? So saying ‘twelve ninety-nine’ sounds less than ‘thirteen’ does it? Bollocks it does! And think of some of the implications in this pricing mentality: How much small change swaps hands unecessarily? And how many holes in pockets …
How many times have you stopped at a roundabout to give way to a driver approaching from the right who is not using their indicator lights and then turns left? Infuriating or what! Are they just forgetful? Lazy? No, they’re just PIG BLEEDIN’ IGNORANT!!
Strictly Come Dancing – Who friggin’ cares? Not me for one. This banal programme is on every night on BBC. EVERY FRIGGIN’ NIGHT. And when it’s not, it’s mentioned on Breakfast news. And Evening news. And the One show. There’s even an analysis show, for fuck’s sake. OK, a lot of people may like ballroom dancing, but does it warrant …
