Superstitious?

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Well I’m not, but… As I was getting out the shower yesterday, there was a hair in the bath formed into a perfect pound symbol. Now does that mean I have money coming to me, or a big bill to pay? I’ll let you know when it happens. Meanwhile, back to the Twilight Zone. Do do do do, do do …

Bloody bees!

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There has been a recent report by scientists about the alarming drop in the number of the bee population. The reason for the demise of bee colonies, they say, is unexplained. Well, they haven’t looked very far. For I can reveal today where all the bees have disappeared to. Now the warmer weather is coming, I have started opening the …

What’s happened to fruit?

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I was walking past the market yesterday and was enticed by all the lovely displays of fruit. Now, I don’t buy much fruit any more because it’s generally shit. But this looked so good, I succumbed to the appetising display of colours – reds and yellows and pinks and greens, orange and purples and blues – thank you Cilla. I …

Don’t hurt its legs!

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There was a shriek from the bathroom this morning. The little lady had discovered a ‘tarantula’ in the bath. “It’s that big” she says, holding hands out that would easily encirle a dustbin lid (the old-fashioned corrugated type, not a wheely bin). The offending creature was, in fact, about an inch wide. Anyway, I ejected the helpless thing out of …

Natasha Richardson.

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I’d never heard of her until three days ago. She’s headline news today after dying following a skiing accident. Now that’s awful and tragic news, no doubt about it. But should it be the leading story? I think not! After a few seconds research on Google, I found out that dozens of people a year die on slopes in the …

Wannabe American?

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Why do ordinary (i.e. English, not American) people sing in American accents? Geordies, Brummies, carrot crunchers, cider drinkers, all of ’em. They all have almost indecipherable lilts to their voices when speaking, yet when they sing they magically attain an American accent. The only exceptions I can think of is the lovely Cerys Matthews, boyo, and that geezer out of …

Whered’ he go?

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Hi-vis vests. They’re brill! They’re designed to be extra glowy like one of those highlighter pens so that the wearer can be seen. And they do what it says on the tin. Or, rather, vest. I thought they were worn for safety reasons originally, which sounds like a good and sensible idea. However, now it seems everyone wears glowy vests …

What?

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Back to the TV show I love to hate… Sky’s ’24’. This programme is stupid, unfeasible, unbelievable and totally unmissable! I love to watch it and see how many faults I can pick with it. It keeps me going all week. One of the bits I picked up on in this week’s episode, and I’m sure it’s not just confined …

Happy Birthday.

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It was my car’s 100,000th birthday today. Yes, one hundred thousand. Well, I’ve moaned about her in the past, but she keeps going, more or less, so thanks to the old gal. Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Pee Six-Oh-Nine Jay-Kay-Why-iiiii, Happy birthday to you.