BB’s Shit List, Pt.5

Grumpy Twat Whinge

People who use the phrase “Listen up”. What the fuck does that mean?. People who say “Can I get” when the really mean “Can I have”. No, you can’t. Fuck off. People who call the well-known pub chain ‘Witherspoons’. It’s Wetherspoons. Always has been. Get it right. People who pay a premium for washed vegetables and then still peel them. …

Feeling old?

Grumpy Twat Whinge

Now I may be 52 years old, but I can tell you that every morning I wake up feeling like an 18 year-old The trouble is, there’s never one there.

Child benefit

Grumpy Twat Whinge Leave a Comment

There has been a lot in the news at the moment about the rights and wrongs of withdrawing child benefit from the better-off. What nobody has brought up and what I would like to know is why anyone gets child benefit? Why should I, as a childless taxpayer, contribute towards the upkeep of anyone’s children? If you have kids, take …

Like Ikea?

Grumpy Twat Whinge Leave a Comment

I’m 52 in a couple of week’s time and, up until last Sunday, I was very proud to say I was an Ikea virgin. Yep, I had managed OK, thank you very much, without going to Ikea all of my life. However, last weekend I was persuaded that there was something there ‘we needed’, so I couldn’t get out of  …

Open wide!

Grumpy Twat Whinge Leave a Comment

I went to the dentist for a check-up today. There’s a clock on the wall of the surgery and I noted the length of time I was sat in the dentist’s chair. It was just 63 seconds. Back at the reception, I was asked for £16.50. Sixteen chuffin’ fifty. That equates to £942.86 an hour! No wonder the dentist had …

BB’s Shit List, Pt.4

Grumpy Twat Whinge Leave a Comment

People who just use a fork to eat with and cut their food up with the edge of it. No – that’s what a knife is for. Use the fucker. Peeling eggs – the original wrap rage? Shoppers who buy margarine because it tastes just like butter. Buy friggin’ butter then! Drivers who buy a SatNav and then ignore them …

BB’s Shit List, Pt.3

Grumpy Twat Whinge 5 Comments

Calling it a ‘near miss’ when two aeroplanes nearly hit each other. No, they did miss. It should be called a ‘near hit’. Any twat that wears a baseball cap. Especially back-to-front. And with tracky bottoms on. Posers that wear sunglasses indoors. Or wear them on the top of their heads. Cunts! Pricks who say ‘my bad’. What kind of …

Extras

Grumpy Twat Whinge Leave a Comment

Have you noticed how many shops now offer you ‘extras’ when you take your goods to the till? For example, today I went into WH Smiths for the Beano, March’s edition of Razzle, the Chronicle of the 20th Century and a copy of the latest Janet & John adventure. I piled my purchases on the checkout counter, the lady takes …