What a friggin’ racket! They’ve been going now for at least half an hour. You can hear them all over town. They go on and on and on and on. A bit like me. I know what they’re for. It’s to announce to the world “Ooooooh! We’ve just got married”. Or “oooooooh! We’ve just christened our baby”. Well, here’s news …
Up in smoke
The Council switched the Christmas lights on this week. And a bloomin’ good show they put on too, with a gigantic TV screen in the Market Square and fireworks – lots of ’em. I watched them from my bedroom window. BOOOOOOOOOM – Aaaaah! BAANNNNG!!! – Aaaaha! SWOOOOOSH, KABUUUUUUUUM – Oooooooooooh! I love fireworks. However, these things come at a price. …
Enough to send you bleeping mad!
Another observation about television land. Have you noticed, almost without exception, every time a computer screen is featured in a film or drama, it bleeps and whistles like R2D2 on friggin’ acid? Query: Bleeeeeeeeep blip blip blip dooooooooop! Zoom in: dit dit dit dit dit bweeeeeeeeb! Locked on target: Bloooop bloooop bloooop! Gimme a friggin’ break! Computers don’t do that. …
Strictly no BBC1
Well, I must have been a happy bunny for the last few weeks, as I haven’t posted for a while. But today was a dark, dark day for me. Note the date: 26th August. Today I heard the first mention of a new series of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’. It was on the Breakfast news this morning, although quite what it …
Bowls of wood???
I’m out of work at the moment and every time the little lady walks out the door on her way to work I must admit that I do feel little pangs of guilt (now and then). So, yesterday I decided I’d better do my bit and make an effort to help around the house. I’d do the vacuuming and dusting. …
Goody – do we really need it?
The TV news is at it again this morning, no doubt the radio too but I haven’t listened. Jade Goody has died of cancer. This story took up the first 13 minutes of BBC News 24’s bulletin this morning and was mentioned another three times in the next half hour. Why? Check the stats. About 425 people die from this …
Gissa job!
Well, today was my last day in my present job. I have been made redundant. I have known for a few weeks, having worked out my notice. So have the bosses who made the decision. Neither of them are here today to say a simple “thanks and good luck”. Nor did they find time to say it before today. I …
Gissa job.
I’m job hunting at the moment. So, I sit down with the job supplement out of the local paper and search through the pages. What’s all this crap I’m faced with? Job titles such as ‘Corporate Performance Officer’, Crisis Worker’, ‘Financial Inclusion Officer’ and my personal favourite, ‘Sector Facilitator’. Perhaps if I knew what they actually meant, I might apply …
Firty-fahsand fevvers.
Shall I tell you what gets on my nerves? Well, loads of stuff actually, but today I’ll have a moan about the things people say. I was listening to the Today programme on BBC Radio 4 on my way to work this morning (I usually pick up a word I’ve never heard before – today it was ‘ululate‘) and it’s …
Snooker loopy? Not me!
“Ooooo, did you watch the snooker final?” everyone’s asking me. No, I fucking didn’t! And shall I tell you why? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. It’s because all the players feel the need to to wiggle their middle finger whilst cueing up a shot. What the fuck’s all that about? They never used to do it years ago. Now they …