I don’t get it…

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…trick or treat that is. Can someone tell what’s in it for me? Kids come round knocking on the door and announce ‘trick or treat’. If I say ‘treat’, I have to give them something – I lose. If I say ‘trick’, they play a prank on me – I lose. How fucking fair is that? Can someone explain the …

Bin day blues.

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Today was bin day. I remember once upon a time when we had proper bins. Corrugated metal ones with a lid and two handles. We used to keep them down the back yard, out of the way. Every week on bin day the dustman would come, lift the bin deftly over his shoulder, walk the bin to the dustcart and …

.99 – What’s that all about?

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Go shopping anywhere in the UK and almost everything is priced £XX.99 – what the hell is all that about? It sounds less? So saying ‘twelve ninety-nine’ sounds less than ‘thirteen’ does it? Bollocks it does! And think of some of the implications in this pricing mentality: How much small change swaps hands unecessarily? And how many holes in pockets …

Give us a clue?

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How many times have you stopped at a roundabout to give way to a driver approaching from the right who is not using their indicator lights and then turns left? Infuriating or what! Are they just forgetful? Lazy? No, they’re just PIG BLEEDIN’ IGNORANT!!

Strictly Enough Dancing!!!!

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Strictly Come Dancing – Who friggin’ cares? Not me for one. This banal programme is on every night on BBC. EVERY FRIGGIN’ NIGHT. And when it’s not, it’s mentioned on Breakfast news. And Evening news. And the One show. There’s even an analysis show, for fuck’s sake. OK, a lot of people may like ballroom dancing, but does it warrant …

If Carlsberg did beer festivals…

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…they’d probably be nothing like this! Yesterday I attended what might be the most miserable beer festival in my life. And I’ve been to a few. It was in a marquee, it was raining, it was cold and it was windy. There was straw all over the ground and it smelled (smelt?) like a cattle market without the poo. Apparently …