So good they named it twice? No. I’m referring to the fact that someone in our house (and it’s not me) always puts the TV remote control beside the TV when they switch it off. Then when I wake up in the morning and want to catch the news headlines, where’s the remote? Over the other side of the room, …
Church Bells…
What a friggin’ racket! They’ve been going now for at least half an hour. You can hear them all over town. They go on and on and on and on. A bit like me. I know what they’re for. It’s to announce to the world “Ooooooh! We’ve just got married”. Or “oooooooh! We’ve just christened our baby”. Well, here’s news …
Up in smoke
The Council switched the Christmas lights on this week. And a bloomin’ good show they put on too, with a gigantic TV screen in the Market Square and fireworks – lots of ’em. I watched them from my bedroom window. BOOOOOOOOOM – Aaaaah! BAANNNNG!!! – Aaaaha! SWOOOOOSH, KABUUUUUUUUM – Oooooooooooh! I love fireworks. However, these things come at a price. …
Horse re-spotted!
I saw the hi-vis horse again last night. In fact, I saw two of ’em. Not only that, somebody else saw them too. And I wasn’t drunk. So there!
Hi-vis horse?
Well, I know I was drunk at the time, but I did see a police horse wearing a yellow dayglow vest in town last night, even if nobody else saw it. Which just goes to prove the point in my previous post about everybody and his dog wearing them nowadays. And just to prove a point, here’s the dog. Now, …
Enough to send you bleeping mad!
Another observation about television land. Have you noticed, almost without exception, every time a computer screen is featured in a film or drama, it bleeps and whistles like R2D2 on friggin’ acid? Query: Bleeeeeeeeep blip blip blip dooooooooop! Zoom in: dit dit dit dit dit bweeeeeeeeb! Locked on target: Bloooop bloooop bloooop! Gimme a friggin’ break! Computers don’t do that. …
Strictly no BBC1
Well, I must have been a happy bunny for the last few weeks, as I haven’t posted for a while. But today was a dark, dark day for me. Note the date: 26th August. Today I heard the first mention of a new series of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’. It was on the Breakfast news this morning, although quite what it …
Bowls of wood???
I’m out of work at the moment and every time the little lady walks out the door on her way to work I must admit that I do feel little pangs of guilt (now and then). So, yesterday I decided I’d better do my bit and make an effort to help around the house. I’d do the vacuuming and dusting. …
How do they know?
Now here’s one that’s been bugging me for years. Perhaps someone out there knows the answer. If so PLEEEEASE post a comment! You know when there’s a big accident or a grizzly murder and there is hardly anything left of the poor bugger to name them from? So the forensic peeps turn to dental records to identify the body – …
The Holywood Swallow.
Who shall I have a go at today? I know! Those idiots who throw their heads back when swallowing an aspirin or some such other pill. What the fuck’s all that about? “Oooh, it’s hard to get down”, I’m told. Bollocks! An aspirin’s about as small as you can get (except for a microdot… so I’m told!). What about when …