Shall I tell you what gets on my nerves? Well, loads of stuff actually, but today I’ll have a moan about the things people say.
I was listening to the Today programme on BBC Radio 4 on my way to work this morning (I usually pick up a word I’ve never heard before – today it was ‘ululate‘) and it’s amazing how many people respond to a question or statement with the word ‘absolutely’. Absolutely what? Everybody’s saying it. You just listen out for it. It gets on my friggin’ nerves!
What else? Ah, yes! People who follow a statement with ‘It really does’ or ‘I really do’. For example “I like chocolate, I really do”. I know you do, you just fucking told me once!
Other things people say that make my toes curl:- ‘err’ or ‘um’ or ‘like’ at the beginning of every sentence. ‘you know’ or ‘understand’ at the end of sentences. Some other tosser phrases I hate:- ‘as I say’, ‘at the end of the day’, ‘when all said and done’. There are many, many more. I may make a list one day. Or maybe not.
And it’s not just what they say, it’s how they say it. Why do so many people now pronounce ‘th’ as ‘f’ or ‘v’, as in “firty-fahsand fevvers on a frushes froat” – “How do you spell that, my man?” – “You don’t spell it – it’s a fuckin’ number!”
Now if you were a thick cockney twat off East Enders, I might forgive you for talking like that, but a growing number of kids (and adults) are speaking that way too. Aren’t schools teaching the Queen’s English any more? And don’t get me started on the written word and grammar! Well perhaps in another post.
P.S. Sad bastard as I am, I’m going to monitor the TV and radio tomorrow and count how many times people respond with the word ‘absolutely’. Gripping stuff, eh?