Why do ordinary (i.e. English, not American) people sing in American accents? Geordies, Brummies, carrot crunchers, cider drinkers, all of ’em. They all have almost indecipherable lilts to their voices when speaking, yet when they sing they magically attain an American accent.
The only exceptions I can think of is the lovely Cerys Matthews, boyo, and that geezer out of Blur.
Shall I tell you what gets on my nerves? Well, loads of stuff actually, but today I’ll have a moan about the things people say.
I was listening to the Today programme on BBC Radio 4 on my way to work this morning (I usually pick up a word I’ve never heard before – today it was ‘ululate‘) and it’s amazing how many people respond to a question or statement with the word ‘absolutely’. Absolutely what? Everybody’s saying it. You just listen out for it. It gets on my friggin’ nerves!
What else? Ah, yes! People who follow a statement with ‘It really does’ or ‘I really do’. For example “I like chocolate, I really do”. I know you do, you just fucking told me once!
Other things people say that make my toes curl:- ‘err’ or ‘um’ or ‘like’ at the beginning of every sentence. ‘you know’ or ‘understand’ at the end of sentences. Some other tosser phrases I hate:- ‘as I say’, ‘at the end of the day’, ‘when all said and done’. There are many, many more. I may make a list one day. Or maybe not.
And it’s not just what they say, it’s how they say it. Why do so many people now pronounce ‘th’ as ‘f’ or ‘v’, as in “firty-fahsand fevvers on a frushes froat” – “How do you spell that, my man?” – “You don’t spell it – it’s a fuckin’ number!”
Now if you were a thick cockney twat off East Enders, I might forgive you for talking like that, but a growing number of kids (and adults) are speaking that way too. Aren’t schools teaching the Queen’s English any more? And don’t get me started on the written word and grammar! Well perhaps in another post.
P.S. Sad bastard as I am, I’m going to monitor the TV and radio tomorrow and count how many times people respond with the word ‘absolutely’. Gripping stuff, eh?
Have you noticed the really annoying trend that seems to be the growing tendency amongst TV announcers to t-a-l-k r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-o-o-o-w-l-y when introducing programmes?
“Commming uup onn- Iiiiiiii-Teeeeee-Veeeeee-Twoooo, the stoooory ooof a mootherrr annnd”….. FUCK OFF!!!!
Is this so thickies can keep up, or is it just the patronizing manner of the announcers? Either way, it’s bloody annoying. And while I’m at it, have you noticed how loads of actors, especially on the British soaps (not that I watch them) almost always give a deep sigh after their first sentence.
“Oh, Ricky(khaaa)”… “Shut it(khaaa)”. Try to talk like that – it’s impossible. If you did, people would look at you a bit strange.
On American shows, however, everybody either mumbles or whispers. Take for example the totally unfeasible but highly entertaining ’24’. You can go through the whole show with almost all the dialogue being inaudible. So much so, in fact, that you don’t actually know what’s going on.
And while I’m on about this silly show, what’s with all this two-handed holding of pistols that all the cops/robbers/FBI agents/serial killers do now? They move from corner to corner, wielding their guns at arm’s length, swinging them around like they’re practicing at throwing the hammer.
Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned gun-holding like they did in the early Bond films? Where they just pointed a floppily-held pistol in the general direction of their adversary… and still managed to hit them!