“Ooooo, did you watch the snooker final?” everyone’s asking me. No, I fucking didn’t! And shall I tell you why? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. It’s because all the players feel the need to to wiggle their middle finger whilst cueing up a shot.
What the fuck’s all that about? They never used to do it years ago. Now they all do it. It infuriates me. It makes me want to either hack off the offending digit with a professional-sized meat cleaver, or stick it to the baize with industrial strength super glue. But I can’t do either.
I could hurl a piece of furniture at the TV set, but that would just be plain daft. So I choose not to watch it. Snooker – what a load of balls!