What’s happened to fruit?

BoldBelvoirObservation Leave a Comment

I was walking past the market yesterday and was enticed by all the lovely displays of fruit. Now, I don’t buy much fruit any more because it’s generally shit. But this looked so good, I succumbed to the appetising display of colours – reds and yellows and pinks and greens, orange and purples and blues – thank you Cilla. I bought some plums and strawberries.

I should have known better. These things were so big they might have been grown for the set on a science fiction film. This kind of fruit just shouldn’t be that big. So what did they taste like? Nothing. No flavour. Just bigness. And colour. Pleasing to the eye, shit on the pallet. I had been suckered again.

This is true with most fruit now. Apples taste like cardboard. Peaches are fibrous with no juice whatsoever. I could go on. What happened to the days when you bought a (single!) peach, bit into it and the juice ran down your chin (ooooer)? They are usually so hard that you lose your crowns when you bite into the fuckers!

So you bin the first one ‘cos you can’t eat it and put the rest into the fruit bowl and wait for them to ripen.

And wait. And wait. And wait. Then you test them again and they’re still hard. So you go and do something that takes about three minutes, turn back to the fruit bowl and the fuckers have turned into a mouldy, mushy mess!

Fruit? Forget it.

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