Tag: Christmas

  • Clean-up op

    All the Christmas paraphernalia came down today. Bloody pleased to see the back of it and all.

    SWMBO’s decorations consisted of shiny, twee girly stuff that has no function whatsoever and the the bits that did, for example, Santa-shaped candles, were not allowed to be lit “because they are ornaments”. WTF?

    So, down they come and now there’s bits of tinsel all over the place and dust clouds of glitter in the air so thick that I think we’ll have to wear protective masks for the next decade at least. We also placed so many cards in the recycle bin that they must have taken a forest the size of Clumber Park to produce.

    My ‘decorations’, on the other hand, consisted of one firkin of beer. Neatly rolled into the conservatory, allowed to settle, consumed and rolled back out again. No fuss, no mess.

  • Bah, Humbug!

    It’s just occurred to me that I’m going to have a cracking Christmas this year, and this is why…

    I’m out of work, so I haven’t got any money. No money means I can’t buy presents. Because I can’t afford presents  it means I don’t have to trudge around the shops, rubbing shoulders with thousands of people who have fallen for the commercialisation of Christmas and probably don’t even believe in God, buying absolutely useless stuff that no-one wants anyway. No shopping = happy BoldBelvoir.

    So, to all my pals that may have been expecting a little something from me, may I extend my apologies and send this Christmas message… Ho, Ho, Fucking Ho!