Tag: BBC

  • Who the f**k are they?

    Have you noticed the abnormal amount of time the media (and, it seems to me, the BBC in particular) gives to the American Presidential election? The whole process takes about a year and has only just started.

    Expect screens to be bombarded almost weekly with ‘news’  of banal ‘candidates’ with zero charisma and cheesy grins as wide as Alaska all fighting for their 15 minutes of fame before fading back into obscurity from whence they came. Presidential ‘hopefuls’ with unfeasibly stupid names such as Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney. Who? Exactly. Never heard of them, probably never will again.

    Why do I need to know this? We get enough bullshit politics on the news now. I don’t need the imported version as well.

    God bless America.

  • Personal service lives!

    Apparently I was wrong about personal service in my last post. So much so, the BBC is making a series about it – ‘Michel Roux’s Service‘. I’ve just seen a preview clip of it and OMG! does it look exciting!

    That last bit was sarcastic.

    Yet another friggin’ ‘reality’ programme (about as real as Dolly Parton‘s headlamps) with a s-l-o-w, p-a-t–r-o-n-i-s-i-n-g  n-a-r-r-a-t-o-r, about a bunch of no-hopers training to be waiters. OK, silver service waiters, but still waiters. Christ on a friggin’ bike! Where do they get the ideas for these programmes from?

    In a real attempt to make the programme exciting, one of the participants announces “If we can do this, we can do anything”. So you’ll be able to drive an F1 car will you? Or design a viable and economical solution to replace the now obsolete U.S. Space Shuttle orbital delivery system, will you?

    No, I didn’t think so. You’ll be a posh waiter.

  • Pleeeease – fuck off dancing

    Pleeeease – fuck off dancing

    This is getting beyond a joke now. Yet another friggn’ dance show is starting… ‘Dancing on Wheels’ supposedly gives wheelchair users the chance to show off their ballroom prowess. Only they’re not actually dancing, are they? Because they can’t. More like they’re wheeling around the floor whilst some fit, scantily-clad tart cavorts around them.

    Now I know you can’t stop disabled people from dancing, even if they can’t, because that’s just wrong. And I suppose TV has to show they’re doing their bit for the cause. But this got me thinking about other possible themes for dance shows and I came up with some quite exciting ideas.

    What about ‘Blindman’s La Bamba’, ‘Epilepsy on Ice’, ‘Synchronised Spastics’ or ‘Formation Fuckwits’. Methinks they would be much more entertaining than all the shite dance shows that they’re showing on the box now. You could even have a unification show at the end of each series to find the Supreme Champion: ‘Epileptics v Spastics – Dance ’til You Drop – The Showdown’.

  • Taking the piss!

    As Vic would say: “I don’t belieeeve it!” After being solidly bombarded for months by Strictly Come Dancing, what have the BBC decided to replace the programme with? – another friggin’ dance show!! What makes the BBC think that everyone gives a monkey’s chunker about dancing? Do the programmers need some fresh ideas? Well here’s some for free:

    How about ‘Be a more considerate driver’ or ‘Become a perfect neighbour’ or ‘Take responsibility for your fucking kid’s behaviour’. Get my drift?.

    Come on Beeb, let’s have some fresh ideas before we become a nation of mincers.

  • Done dancing?

    Well, it’s finally over. Almost four solid months (see the date on my previous post) of blanket coverage on BBC and the Strictly Come Dancing competition has come to an end. But has the coverage? I suspect not.

    I would think the Beeb have a lot more mileage to get out of the show yet. Post show analysis, highlights shows, interviews with the competitors, the possibilities are endless. Fuck! Why not just have a 24-hour SCD channel and make people pay to watch it? It would certainly keep the shite off the main channel.

  • Strictly no BBC1

    Well, I must have been a happy bunny for the last few weeks, as I haven’t posted for a while. But today was a dark, dark day for me. Note the date: 26th August.

    Today I heard the first mention of a new series of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’. It was on the Breakfast news this morning, although quite what it has to do with news is beyond me. I have no doubt this programme is going to get blanket coverage on BBC1 for several months to come (see my previous post).

    Be afraid. Be very afraid. Da da da da, da da daa, Da da da da, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhh!!!

  • Strictly Enough Dancing!!!!

    Strictly Come Dancing – Who friggin’ cares? Not me for one. This banal programme is on every night on BBC. EVERY FRIGGIN’ NIGHT. And when it’s not, it’s mentioned on Breakfast news. And Evening news. And the One show. There’s even an analysis show, for fuck’s sake.

    OK, a lot of people may like ballroom dancing, but does it warrant being mentioned almost hourly on BBC? Let’s get 24-hour Rammstein on BBC4. That’d be more like it.

    And as for the theme music. Aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhh!!! All together now… Da da da da, da da daa, Da da da da, daaaaa. Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhh!!!