Shall I tell you what gets on my nerves? Well, loads of stuff actually, but today I’ll have a moan about the things people say. I was listening to the Today programme on BBC Radio 4 on my way to work this morning (I usually pick up a word I’ve never heard before – today it was ‘ululate‘) and it’s …
Crash!
On this week’s ’24’ one person – ONE single person – deliberately sabotaged and reformatted the entire FBI computer system. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I love that programme.
Whered’ he go?
Hi-vis vests. They’re brill! They’re designed to be extra glowy like one of those highlighter pens so that the wearer can be seen. And they do what it says on the tin. Or, rather, vest. I thought they were worn for safety reasons originally, which sounds like a good and sensible idea. However, now it seems everyone wears glowy vests …
What?
Back to the TV show I love to hate… Sky’s ’24’. This programme is stupid, unfeasible, unbelievable and totally unmissable! I love to watch it and see how many faults I can pick with it. It keeps me going all week. One of the bits I picked up on in this week’s episode, and I’m sure it’s not just confined …
Snooker loopy? Not me!
“Ooooo, did you watch the snooker final?” everyone’s asking me. No, I fucking didn’t! And shall I tell you why? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. It’s because all the players feel the need to to wiggle their middle finger whilst cueing up a shot. What the fuck’s all that about? They never used to do it years ago. Now they …
Ice, Ice, Baby.
I smugly watched all my neighbours this morning scraping ice from the windows of their cars. They all had their motors running, exhaust polluting the atmosphere, while they scraped. And scraped. And scraped. All of them, to a person, have a garage. And where do they park? On the fucking road, two wheels on the pavement as is standard nowadays, …
S-L-O-W-L-Y does it…
Have you noticed the really annoying trend that seems to be the growing tendency amongst TV announcers to t-a-l-k r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-o-o-o-w-l-y when introducing programmes? “Commming uup onn- Iiiiiiii-Teeeeee-Veeeeee-Twoooo, the stoooory ooof a mootherrr annnd”….. FUCK OFF!!!! Is this so thickies can keep up, or is it just the patronizing manner of the announcers? Either way, it’s bloody annoying. And while …
I don’t get it…
…trick or treat that is. Can someone tell what’s in it for me? Kids come round knocking on the door and announce ‘trick or treat’. If I say ‘treat’, I have to give them something – I lose. If I say ‘trick’, they play a prank on me – I lose. How fucking fair is that? Can someone explain the …
Bin day blues.
Today was bin day. I remember once upon a time when we had proper bins. Corrugated metal ones with a lid and two handles. We used to keep them down the back yard, out of the way. Every week on bin day the dustman would come, lift the bin deftly over his shoulder, walk the bin to the dustcart and …
Happy Birthday.
It was my car’s 100,000th birthday today. Yes, one hundred thousand. Well, I’ve moaned about her in the past, but she keeps going, more or less, so thanks to the old gal. Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Pee Six-Oh-Nine Jay-Kay-Why-iiiii, Happy birthday to you.