Dead lazy…

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Dead bird found in bag of salad? Here’s an idea – buy some salad stuff fresh off the market and make the fucker yourself. Idle git!

Hats off to the Tributes

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Now I know I’m best at being grumpy, but I do like a good larf now and then, believe it or not. I recently listened to Rick Wakeman on his Planet Rock radio show, on which there was a request for listeners to phone in to the show with the funniest names for Tribute bands. Some of these had me …

Twat!

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A couple of nights ago I watched a boy, maybe 7 or 8 years old, kicking an empty bottle around the pavement, while (presumably) his mother watched on in silence. The bottle predictably fell into the gutter and smashed. “You fucking twat!” shouted the mother. I couldn’t have put it better myself. What a wonderful society we have become.

Tracking useless!

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I have just been on the Royal Mail web site to track a parcel that was dispatched two days ago. I enter my ’13 character reference number’ as asked, and hey presto! It comes back with “Recorded Signed For™ items are only tracked after the item has been delivered.” After it is delivered? What kind of fucking tracking system is …

Tuition fees

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So the hike in fees went through. Good. But instead of rising to £9000 they should have gone to £90,000. Nah, let’s make a round £100,000. It actually doesn’t matter what the actual figure is because hardly any of the bleeders pay the fucker back anyway. The majority of so-called students go to ‘learn’ unusable subjects  such as Marine Biology …