Jesus’ penis! I’m gonna lock myself in a bunker. Call me when it’s all over!
Twat!
A couple of nights ago I watched a boy, maybe 7 or 8 years old, kicking an empty bottle around the pavement, while (presumably) his mother watched on in silence. The bottle predictably fell into the gutter and smashed. “You fucking twat!” shouted the mother. I couldn’t have put it better myself. What a wonderful society we have become.
No Cycles!
I dunno, but I reckon the guy who painted that sign should’ve used bigger letters.
Tracking useless!
I have just been on the Royal Mail web site to track a parcel that was dispatched two days ago. I enter my ’13 character reference number’ as asked, and hey presto! It comes back with “Recorded Signed For™ items are only tracked after the item has been delivered.” After it is delivered? What kind of fucking tracking system is …
Personal service lives!
Apparently I was wrong about personal service in my last post. So much so, the BBC is making a series about it – ‘Michel Roux’s Service‘. I’ve just seen a preview clip of it and OMG! does it look exciting! That last bit was sarcastic. Yet another friggin’ ‘reality’ programme (about as real as Dolly Parton‘s headlamps) with a s-l-o-w, …
Personal service is officially dead.
And this is why… My oven died yesterday and I took it to the oven graveyard (well, it probably ends up in India or China somewhere, but the local dump’s just a bit nearer for me). I go to buy a new one at Currys on the way home. Enter Currys for a new oven. Select oven No.1 – “Sorry, …
Tuition fees
So the hike in fees went through. Good. But instead of rising to £9000 they should have gone to £90,000. Nah, let’s make a round £100,000. It actually doesn’t matter what the actual figure is because hardly any of the bleeders pay the fucker back anyway. The majority of so-called students go to ‘learn’ unusable subjects such as Marine Biology …
BB’s Shit List, Pt.5
People who use the phrase “Listen up”. What the fuck does that mean?. People who say “Can I get” when the really mean “Can I have”. No, you can’t. Fuck off. People who call the well-known pub chain ‘Witherspoons’. It’s Wetherspoons. Always has been. Get it right. People who pay a premium for washed vegetables and then still peel them. …
Feeling old?
Now I may be 52 years old, but I can tell you that every morning I wake up feeling like an 18 year-old The trouble is, there’s never one there.
Child benefit
There has been a lot in the news at the moment about the rights and wrongs of withdrawing child benefit from the better-off. What nobody has brought up and what I would like to know is why anyone gets child benefit? Why should I, as a childless taxpayer, contribute towards the upkeep of anyone’s children? If you have kids, take …