So, after his miraculous recovery from being stabbed in the stomach last week (which in 24 time is about 15 minutes ago), Jack finds himself in the hands of the Russian arms dealers. They hang him up by his wrists to a water pipe and start torturing him by repeatedly sticking electrodes in the knife wound he sustained a few …
Extras
Have you noticed how many shops now offer you ‘extras’ when you take your goods to the till? For example, today I went into WH Smiths for the Beano, March’s edition of Razzle, the Chronicle of the 20th Century and a copy of the latest Janet & John adventure. I piled my purchases on the checkout counter, the lady takes …
BB’s Shit List, Pt.2
Folk singers who stick their fingers in their ears. Get a proper P.A. system with foldback speakers, for fuck’s sake. People who wear trainers and tracky bottoms whilst having no intentions of visiting a gym or doing anything remotely sporty. Ever. Pool and snooker players that wiggle their middle fingers whilst queueing up. That’s all of ’em, basically. All Facebook …
24 nit pick
Well, Jack was right, as usual. That psycho bird who he said was unstable did in fact flip and stabbed the baddy – the only lead they had, by the way (what’s the chances of that happening on 24?) – about twenty times with a six-inch blade. When good ol’ Jack tried to stop her, she gave him some too, …
Fiddler on the street
I was walking past a bookshop in Wales last week and spotted this mannequin sitting outside on the street. We all know that the Taffs are renowned for their sheep-shagging abilities, but it seems as though this fellow was being used to advertise some other form of sexual gratification. Strange race, the Welsh!
Valentine’s day
Pah! I got one, so I felt obliged to give one back. I hope she appreciates it. It cost me 50p.
Pleeeease – fuck off dancing
This is getting beyond a joke now. Yet another friggn’ dance show is starting… ‘Dancing on Wheels’ supposedly gives wheelchair users the chance to show off their ballroom prowess. Only they’re not actually dancing, are they? Because they can’t. More like they’re wheeling around the floor whilst some fit, scantily-clad tart cavorts around them. Now I know you can’t stop …
24 nit pick
This week Jack got twatted by a Tazer, strapped to a chair and repeatedly punched in the face. Just fifteen minutes later, he was driving a car, coherent, without a sign of blood or any apparent bruising. Meanwhile, another ex FBI agent, who’s still experiencing major trauma from her last undercover job six years ago is also roped in to …
BB’s Shit List, Pt.1
Inspired by the grumpiness of Mick Moonshine in my previous post, I’ve decided to create my own Shit List. How’s this for starters… That black guy on the tele who says “Red Tomaaaatoooes”. Change the fuckin’ record! Folks who look inside their sandwich before taking a bite. Ain’t that why food hygiene standards were thought up? Pseudo-intellectuals who make ” …
24 nit pick
Woohoo! The waiting is over. Jack’s back and 24 has exploded back on to our television screens. I say exploded – It was more of a phhhhhht! really. A bit like a wet trouser cough. Only more violent. Anyway, within the first ten minutes there was a firefight in the middle of L.A. involving three blokes using automatic weapons. Street …